Bee Update with Pictures!!

Well if you can’t tell, I don’t get much down time to sit down and write. πŸ™‚ Bee keeps my hands very occupied.But since she is down for the moment, I thought I would quickly update every one on where we are at.

She is just over 5 months old now! My current guess for her weight is about 17 pounds. She has been in 6-9 month clothes since about 4 1/2 months. She is growing so ridiculously fast! All of her hair has pretty much fallen out and is slowly coming back in. She is looking a little blonde to me!! Her little personality is definitely showing, and it is by no means little! She is a wonderfully happy baby when she is happy (which thankfully is most of the time) and really really not happy when she is not. She is stubborn and persistent but sweeter than sugar.

As far as milestones go, well she is going at her own pace. We have proof that she can roll over, except she won’t on purpose. However she is pulling up on us and she is trying to walk. She is sitting in the tripod position and tummy time is a desperate attempt to crawl. This little girl is so ready to go! Forget the stuff that will keep her immobile!

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She is so wonderful! Gosh I can’t believe how awesome she is sometimes. Christopher is over the moon in love with her. He takes every chance he gets to have her attention. She adores him too and looks for him every time he speaks. She has moments where she looks so much like him its crazy!!

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Breastfeeding is going well. In fact I have a beautiful milk sharing relationship with a friend who’s son is 2 months older than Bee. I am not gonna lie donating isn’t as rosy as I thought it would be, mostly because some days I am just too tired to pump! But I am constantly reminded that my super producer boobs and my free pump were gifts, and I am beyond blessed to be able to share.

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We loooooove baby wearing!!!! Christopher has explained baby wearing as ” its just like when your baby cuddles on your chest and you are surrounding them with warmth and comfort.” He is quite proud to be a baby wearing daddy and he is constantly wanting to wear or carry her when we are out in public. πŸ™‚ I love seeing them cuddle together!!

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We are also in love with our cloth diapers!! I was nervous they wouldn’t work well for us but they do!! We have Bumgenius 4.0 pockets and the Flip system. If I were doing it all over again, I would’ve just gotten the pockets. Even Christopher has to admit he really likes the pockets. He also knows the way to my heart now. Whenever we are looking at diapers, he always points out prints he would like us to have πŸ™‚ Hopefully soon I can get some more pockets (we plan to try the alva baby diapers) to fluff up our fluff stash!!

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I definitely love my life of being mama.Β  It is definitely a challenging and difficult job though! I am struggling with giving time to my husband, not giving into anger and frustration when it hits me, and giving into other people’s suggestions when it goes against my instincts. Its definitely hard to balance complaining about something not perfect in our world and taking other peoples advice.

I am still struggling with Christopher’s relationship’s (actually lack there of) with most of his family members. I still have many days where I just want to force them all to fix it, but I am surrounded by wonderful friends who are so good at reminding me that it’s not my job to fix them! I have however adopted an open invitation mind set. If they want to contact me and want to know about Bee, as long as I am not getting pulled into any drama, I am happy to share updates about her. It makes me feel like I am not keeping anyone from her and one day I hope to let her decide! I know how hurt I have felt knowing I never got the chance to be a part of some of my relatives lives because of hurt and drama before I was even born so I hope to spare Bee from those feelings.

As we are gearing up for Christmas, it’s fun to think about our future traditions we will get to have in our little family. This year we are just looking forward to being together and celebrating the miracle of her life, as well as remembering her siblings (Tristan’s angelversary is Christmas Day) who we look forward to meeting in heaven one day.

Hopefully I get to do a Christmas update but until then, I hope all is well in your world!!

I leave you with a sweet picture from my little ray of sunshine!

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Lets be real

It’s August and that means World Breastfeeding Week and National Breastfeeding Month!! It is wonderful to celebrate something so incredibly challenging, rewarding, and empowering!! But as a new mom, I have been feeling a bit of a disconnect with the way I felt about breastfeeding during my pregnancy.

I researched everything about breastfeeding. I spent hours watching Dr. Jack Newman videos of the different latches and the different feeding patterns. I practiced the holds and positions with a baby doll. I read the right books, and I dragged my husband to a breastfeeding class. I thought I was prepared. I thought this is going to be the breeze part of parenting because it’s so natural and I am so prepared.

WRONG!

Lets be real. The first few weeks of breastfeeding for a first time mom suck, LITERALLY! I don’t care how good your baby’s latch is, it hurts! Your nipples are being asked to do something they have never ever done before and they don’t really like it. The second day of Amarah’s life, I asked the lactation consultant to come in. She immediately said, your nipples are too short and you need to use a nipple shield.

BAM!

Unexpected issue!!! I was no way prepared for this!! I used the nipple shield even though I hated it. I called in the nurses nearly every time we were about to latch just to make sure we were doing things right. On the day we left the hospital we went to the nursery to visit with the other lactation consultant who proceeded to help me latch Amarah without a shield and she latched well, eating for about 40 minutes. I thought we had figured it out and would be fine. My milk was coming in so it seemed like we were going to be just fine! We leave the hospital, it all falls apart.

I was now beyond belief sore. We had the good latch figured out but it hurt me. I started with the shield again looking for relief, and got none. I tried pumping and just giving her bottles hoping I would heal, and still no relief. I was soooooooo engorged. My boobs were just so full of milk I thought they would pop. Amarah couldn’t latch when I was engorged because it was just toooo much. The pediatrician said stick it out and maybe try an Supplemental Nursing System to make sure she is getting enough. (She was by the way, she just had a late start.)

My dear sister then gets me a new shield, I start wearing icepacks all day to help my poor nipples, and I pumped after every feeding hoping to empty those ridiculously full boobs. She finally packed on some weight (4 oz in 4 days!) and the pediatrician sent us on our merry way to hopefully get back to her birth weight before the 2 week mark,

I was literally doing nothing but feeding Amarah and pumping. She ended up getting beyond her birth weight at 2 weeks so now there were no concerns about if I had enough milk. I was miserable though. I was still sore but getting slightly better (for some reason the contact shield was better than the regular shield for me) but the amount of milk was killing me. I decided I had to stop pumping because it was just too much! Well I quit cold turkey and got mastitis. It’s a bad idea and I don’t recommend it. The good thing about it though, I was so dehydrated from being sick that my supply suddenly regulated and I haven’t been engorged since.

On the day Amarah turned 1 month, I decided we were quitting the nipple shield. So we did! All was great for a few days until I started to get sore again. We had thrush. BOO!

Here we are at 6 weeks and here is what I know. Breastfeeding is the hardest thing I have ever done. It is harder than growing and delivering a baby. Sustaining a human and being their sole food source is a lot of work. There are way more obstacles than I expected. It hurts more than I thought (3 almost 4 weeks of soreness for me!) It’s exhausting especially when your own body needs attention.

BUT it’s so been worth it. I am thankful for the engorgement and the amount of milk I pumped those first 2 weeks because my daughter was able to have only breast milk when I was hospitalized and unable to breastfeed her. (Long story we just got home a few days ago!) I am not quite so thrilled with the mastitis and thrush but they are tolerable and we made it through them. The nipple shield and short nipples, well I know she can latch without the shield and my nipple really doesn’t matter and once we completely beat the thrush and I’m no longer sore, it’s going away again. Through all of this, my daughter is 6 weeks old and hasn’t had a bottle of formula touch her lips.

I say all this though, because I feel I was done a disservice by the breastfeeding community. The whole, oh you know all the answers you’ll be fine did not make my first 6 weeks any easier. I had no idea I would be sore, and I’m sure that deters many a mom who attempts to breastfeed. We all know that if the latch is good it shouldn’t hurt, but it really needs to be, if the latch is good it shouldn’t hurt once you make it through the newborn soreness. I thought I was doing everything wrong, even with all my help and support and thought about exclusively pumping till she is one just because of the soreness. I didn’t realize how much time I would have to give to breastfeeding. My daughter is a grazer and it feels like she eats all day long, and for a few days she actually did. We are now on a more regular 2 hour schedule but still! I thought I was doing things wrong because my daughter always refused the 2nd side, until I found out that not all babies take both sides.

I wish I would’ve known during the end of my pregnancy what this was really like. Would I have changed my mind?? Hell NO!!! Breastfeeding is so hard but so worth it to know my daughter is getting the best she can possibly get, and we are saving a good chunk of money. Plus as I have realized she is growing and changing, there will come a day when she won’t want mamma cuddles any more. Even though I am stuck in a chair or bed for hours and hours all day, these are sweet precious moments I would never get if I were bottle feeding. When she eats, she is looking to connect with me. It is a visible change from tense to relaxed as soon as she is latched and she just melts into me. It’s beautiful and hard and a deep connection I wish every mom would experience.

So the next time a soon to be mom asks about breastfeeding, I will be real with her. Then I will tell her how I know she can do it because I am doing it too.

My birth story

It was my goal to get to full term and we made it to 39 weeks 1 day! So here goes my story.

I woke up the morning of July 26th feeling kinda yucky. It was a bit of nausea and I just knew labor was coming soon. I just sort of lounged around all day waiting. Around noon I took a bath to try and relax enough to get things going and thats when my actual contractions started. I puttered around the rest of the afternoon just waiting on them to get stronger, they were close together, and felt like they were doing something but it was an extremely tolerable “pain.” We went to the hospital around 7:30 when they were 3 minutes apart and lasting about 45 seconds. Not exactly perfect but I knew labor was kinda going on. We get there and because the baby had a super accelerated heart rate for a few minutes we stayed. I was 4 cm and a little more than 75% effaced. Since my plan was a natural childbirth, my nurse monitored us for a while and then let us get up and walk. I walked and walked and walked!! I literally walked all night with just 20 minutes of monitoring every hour. Nothing really happened, the contractions did not get stronger or get to a point where I felt like was in labor. At 8:30 on July 27th I was 5 cm and 90% effaced and still really comfortable so my doctor broke my water. That was pretty exciting because I knew that labor was for real under way. When she broke my water, it felt like a gallon of water came out, so it was obvious my water was preventing me from feeling the labor contractions. I wasn’t allowed to get up any more because her head didn’t move to 0 station and until the head gets there, there is a fear of cord prolapse. So I was stuck in bed. The first half hour was fine not a big difference other than I felt the contractions. Suddenly, everything got really intense!! I tried moving into a comfortable position and instead felt an intense amount of pressure. A nurse ran in to check me and told me I was at 7cm. Then I went into transition. I lost complete control because transition was so intense!! Unfortunately, my transition was the longest part of my labor that I was aware of, unlike the normal textbook labor where early labor is the longest. During contractions, which were suddenly coming on top of each other, I was doing my best to remember to breathe!! I heard other women on the labor and delivery floor just huffing puffing and moaning during their contractions and now I am so confused how they were able to do that! It was intense! My husband became upset because once contractions started getting intense, I smacked his hand away and just refused any help he tried to offer. Sorry honey!! I remember desperately wishing I could get in the tub, but that’s not an option here. After a while I asked for the Stadol, because I knew I needed a break. When my nurse brought it in, she checked me, told me I was 8 cm and I couldn’t have the Stadol anymore and my only option for relief was the epidural. I said no at that moment. I kept going for it, trying to work through it, but I could not catch my breath.Β  Between every contraction, I had intense shaking/shivering and nausea until my contraction reached it’s peak, so even though I had no pain once the contraction was gone, I had no break either! After another bit, I asked that they start the fluids needed in case I asked for the epidural. Shortly after that I asked for the epidural. I got my epidural sometime around 12:30. That was sooooo hard!!! I could not stay still (thank you shivering/shaking) and I am amazed the doctor was able to get everything in the right place! The supposed worst part is the numbing shot and I didn’t feel that what so ever. I definitely felt the catheter being placed though. Once everything was in place, my shivering/shaking, nausea and contraction pain, went away, not slowly but not super fast either. Amazingly, I had what everyone calls the perfect epidural. Major props to the doctor! I could move everything including my toes!! I could still feel pressure but probably not as much as I should have. Once everything was placed, I was checked again and I was at 9, well really I just had a rim left and could have pushed through it but it was decided I just needed to let my body relax and move her down more on my own. I’m not exactly sure what time but I believe it was around 1:30 when my nurse came to check on me again and we were setting up to do a practice push when baby girl’s heart rate suddenly dropped down to 60. Things moved very quickly after that. An internal monitor was placed on her head, I was given an oxygen mask, and I was told to roll from side to side. My doctor came in and everything quickly was set up and pushing started.Β  I meant to have them turn the epidural down so I could push better but there really wasn’t time. Shortly after pushing started my doctor commented that baby was sunny side up. Everyone kept saying I was pushing really well. Christopher just sat by my side for a little bit then one of the nurses got him involved and he was an excellent encourager. Shortly after this, my doctor said oh look at her turning! But, I was suddenly finding it hard to push. I told my doctor no when she asked if I wanted an episiotomy, but I did tear right after that. After she crowned, they said her hand was up by her head, so no wonder!! Another push and she was out!! We didn’t get to really delay cord clamping because I needed to be sewn up, but she was put straight on my chest and stayed there for a bit. She was a bit swollen, sleepy, and didn’t get all the fluid out of her lungs because pushing was so short, so nursing did not happen during that 1st hour. She weighed 6lbs 15oz and was 19in long. I was shocked because I had expected her to be on the lower side of 6 pounds. After I got a really good look at her, I decided her name was definitely Amarah (pronounced uh mar ah) Leigh Buteau. It means God’s grace from the meadow and Christopher picked the entire name out. Our other name was Nylah Grace after my great grandmother Olkiewicz (her’s was spelled Nila though) and that means cloud or champion of grace. Amarah just fit our little girl so much better. I was up and walking just fine not too long after my epidural was removed. It had pretty much worn off whileΒ  I was getting sewn up. I think because my time with the epidural was so short, I really didn’t get any of the bad symptoms associated with the it.

Our hospital stay was wonderful. Here’s a tip, definitely be kind to your nurses, let them know you are flexible and understand what practices they have to do and ask kindly about the things you don’t want them to do, do fill out the paperwork especially the baby tracking sheet when they ask, and bring them food. Maybe we were just lucky and got all the wonderful nurses on the right days, or maybe it was how we treated them, either way they were amazing! The food sucked but oh well. We were allowed to stay in our labor and delivery room until they were able to put us in a nice big double bed room even though there were small room available, which was super sweet of them and put the postpartum nurses out a bit because they had to travel further to get to me.

I had tons of breastfeeding help. Once Amarah woke up, she started doing a little dance instead of latching even though everything was lined up and right there. A nipple shield was recommended and has helped some. It is definitely easy to see why women give up and go to formula because breastfeeding is hard. Even if your latch is right, it still hurts! I am sore and engorged all the time. I was pumping after every feeding to try and help get off the nipple shield but I had to stop because there is no more room in our freezer for milk, I ran out of storage bags in less than a week, and the pumping was not helping me heal any. I am slowly starting to heal and hope to start weaning off the shield on my left side (my right still has a way to go.) That will be a bit hard because she loves the shield and doesn’t have to open her tiny mouth very wide to get milk. My other fear with weaning off the shield is I might have a bit of an overactive let down and your supposed to use the shield to help. Even with the shield, she still ends up choking/coughing on both sides and she rarely takes both breasts. She hates all the pacifiers we have, which is funny because the nipple shield is very similar to a pacifier, it just delivers milk.

She is growing and gaining beautifully!! At her 2 week check up she weighed 7lbs 4.25oz and was 20 7/8 in long. Hopefully she will really fit in her new born clothes soon (for newborn some of those clothes are so big!)

Things turned out a bid differently than we had expected. My perfect natural delivery didn’t happen, once we got home I contemplated exclusively pumping because I was so sore from breastfeeding, and room sharing just wasn’t enough and Christopher insisted on co-sleeping (woohoo!) We did get Amarah dedicated, Christopher hasn’t pushed any more to get her ears pierced, and I don’t really feel bad at all for getting the epidural. Amarah will willingly sit in the swing or bouncer when she is awake, but wants to be held when she is sleeping. At night sleep is exactly what I expected with a newborn, sometimes we get 3-4 hours, sometimes we don’t. She gives me plenty of opportunity to nap during the day as long as we cuddle together. She loves cuddling with her daddy as much as he loves to have her in his arms. She is a wonderfully baby! We are so lucky that she is only fussy when she is getting her diaper changed, is hungry, or just wants someone to cuddle with.

She is such a beautiful blessing. I thank God every day for this miracle and I can’t believe how blessed we are!!

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Amarah and Daddy

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First time holding our sweet girl

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Opened her eyes for her daddy

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Thank you Dr. Aguayo for being such an amazing doctor!!

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Daddy cuddles

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Daddy’s finger is the only pacifier she will take

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Daddy cuddles

Happy Fathers Day

So for Father’s Day I of course want to talk about my amazing sweet husband!!! I can not wait to see him being a father to our little girl. I can’t wait to see his face when he holds her for this first time, I kinda hope he cries πŸ™‚ He told me he probably will cry at some point just from the sheer joy of her being here finally!!! One of the great things about my love is he is unafraid to be emotional. He isn’t your typical hold it in type of guy, but it can be a bit frustrating dealing with his emotions when I’m just not up to it. But as far as our daughter goes, I love how emotional and deeply in love with her he already is and how amazing of a father you can tell he will be.

So since I haven’t gotten these up here yet, here’s some of my fave pictures from our maternity shoot together!!

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Waiting waiting waiting

We have definitely reached the uncomfortable part of pregnancy. 😦 I still love being pregnant, but I can’t hardly breathe because baby girl is taking up sooo much space. At our ultrasound last week her weight was 5 pounds 8 ounces….. Ummm that’s 5 1/2 pounds!!! Someone forgot to tell her she is supposed to be small!! πŸ™‚ She is still measuring a few days shy of her due date but she has grown huge from the time of initial fear she wasn’t growing so well. Also this week my weight didn’t go up again and my doctor just decided that I may just be lucky. As long as Bee is growing and my fundal height continues to be on schedule, my weight is allowed to do as it pleases. Woohoo!!! That’s such a relief!! I’ve been stressing out about being so underweight compared to where I’m at in my pregnancy. Plus (not to brag or anything) when my daughter is delivered, I will lose close to half the weight I’ve gained!!!

Everything feels pretty ready for her to get here. All that’s left is the waiting… The waiting is actually terrible. It gives you lots of time to think, and let many scary thoughts slip in. I can’t believe at the end of this we will be bringing home a baby girl. She is ours and we are responsible for her…. for forever. It is soooo scary! I’ve been asking for lots of peace about all of this lately. I’m so thankful I know God gives peace when we ask. Plus since we’ve been working on relaxation for labor it’s given me more peace about bringing her home.

Speaking of labor, I am hoping for a natural labor and birth. I have been researching and preparing myself for years for it and I believe I have all the tools I need to get through labor. I will be using a combination of hypnobirthing and the bradley method. I still really wish I was able to have a water birth like Christopher and I both want but I think going natural with our doctor will hopefully be as good as the water birth we both desire. Christopher is to be my main support person, we’ve practiced massage and relaxation. πŸ™‚ I think he is pretty amazing and wonderfully supportive.

Christopher is a little on edge lately. πŸ™‚ I couldn’t get comfortable one night and Christopher asked if we needed to go to the doctor πŸ™‚ He’s worried over every little groan and every face I make. He is also sort of nesting, getting clothes for our little girl and making sure we have everything we need.

I can tell we are definitely getting closer. I’m having more contractions and I feel just more run down than I have. I know she is probably comingΒ  sooner than we expected! I have a feeling it will be either this week of next. But who knows?! Doctors appointment today and we’ll see how it goes!

Latest update!!

So tomorrow I will be exactly 34 weeks!! That means in 6 weeks or less Bee will be here!

I feel like so much has changed since I last did a post about the baby so here goes.

She is growing like a weed. Really. My doctor said something about Miracle Gro because she is growing that well! Our next appointment in 2 weeks will be our last growth ultrasound and the start of weekly Bio Physical Profiles (BPP’s) to determine if Bee is still tolerating it in there. BPP’s are an ultrasound version of non stress tests. Our choices were either twice weekly non stress tests at the hospital (and a hospital co-pay every time) or the BPP’sΒ  weekly at the office with a non stress test if something comes up. It was so weird to schedule our last few weeks of appointments!! I can’t believe we are already here!!

Bee doesn’t have a for sure name anymore…. Christopher came up with a new back up name because he nixed our other 2 back up names and it is just beautiful! So I am torn between the two and will make the final decision once I meet her. Her name will either mean “cloud or champion of grace” or “God’s grace from the meadow” yes there was a theme going on, our boys name means “strong little john, God is gracious” πŸ™‚ I think her birth is just a significant showing of God’s grace to us and I love using her name’s meaning to remind us daily of the grace He has poured over us.

There is baby stuff EVERYWHERE!!! And a good chunk of pink stuff too! lol. so much for no pink. I am working on recovering some cushions for Christopher’s Great Grandmother’s chair which will be moved into our room once it’s done. I am sooooo excited to finally be getting it done after wanting to do this for 4 years now. Her swing is assembled, car seat is in, bassinet is up next to our bed, there’s an activity gym and a bouncer all in our way now. πŸ™‚ her clothes from newborn to 6 months are hanging up washed and ready to go. Diaper bags are partially packed, tub, towels, and bath wraps are ready to go. Diaper stacker has diapers but we need to get more. I need to prep our cloth diapers but I really am waiting to do that till my stash is complete. We have 8 BumGenius 4.0’s and 6 Flip Covers with 18 inserts and we need to get 5 Kawaii Heavy Wetter Overnights and I’m thinking either 12 Sunbabies or 12 Alva’s or maybe 6 of each.

I am not tired of being pregnant, but I am soooo tired of some of the “side effects” of being pregnant. I look forward to bending over easily, sleeping through the night without a leg cramp or having to pee, being able to breathe again, hell(heart) burn, and not being so dang hot all the time!! If I could eliminate these symptoms I would keep her in for another year so I have more time to prepare.

I am feeling a bit terrified of not being ready or capable of being her mother. I think every mom to be goes through this so I know I’m not alone in my fears.

We have a practice baby going in all of Bee’s things so Ryder can get used to her. He is actually doing pretty well. I love watching Christopher pretend with the doll πŸ™‚ He is going to be such an amazing daddy. His protective instincts are kicking in pretty well and it’s incredible to watch. I can tell he is feeling anxious about the end of this pregnancy. He has been checking on me a whole lot more than he used to, and every groan or ouch gets an are you ok?!

I have a partially written birth plan, but I know my doc and I are on the same page about how we want things to go. I need to get a pediatrician picked out so I can sign the releases to avoid all the things I don’t want done to Bee. I am so glad Christopher is being supportive of my choices, because I feel we are wading into a sea of craziness when it comes to making decisions that can affect our little one’s health for the rest of her life.

That’s all for the moment. Still praying for this little girl daily, hoping she’ll stay in till after June 18th, and trying to enjoy this very last bit of just us two and Ryder πŸ™‚

Its A……

GIRL!!!!!!!

That’s right!!! Baby Bee is a little girl! I am sooooooo glad I can finally say it! We’ve know since 15 weeks that she was a she and for the most part, it has been a well guarded secret. Christopher and I are completely delighted with our little girl and we can not wait to meet her!

Ever since we found out, I’ve wanted to write about my hopes and dreams for my daughter and since I can finally do so…. here it is!

Sweet little girl, my biggest hope for you is that you’ll know how truly beautiful you are. You were created in God’s image and are filled with all the best parts of Him. You are His daughter on loan to your dad and I, and all His daughters are princesses. While I may be biased, your outside will always be beautiful, no matter what, to your dad and I, but I hope you’re inner beauty far exceeds that of your outer beauty. I hope you find in us an excellent example of God’s grace, love, and faith in Him. I hope you will follow in our footsteps and choose to believe in God and His amazing grace. I want you to walk with Him deliberately and daily, and always run to Him when your burdens seem too great to bear. As you grow up, I hope you will bear all things with grace, humility, love, and a smile. It will be so hard (its very difficult for me!) but your life will be so much better for it. I want you to know your smile makes you far more beautiful than a frown, and tears do not mean you are weak. I hope you will indulge in fairy tales and good classic fiction books, but realize while the real world doesn’t always work like fairy tale, your future husband needs to be the prince who treats you like the princess you are. Sometimes you just need to cry. God made us emotional and sometimes it gets to the point of overflowing. I hope you will want to come to me, let me hold you while you let it out, and then we can have some ice cream to make it better. I hope you dance, or sing, or paint, or play an instrument with your whole heart. Art in any form brings more beauty to the world.Β  I hope your family (all of us, those near and far) will be your rock and security. I hope you will want to depend on us and will come to us when you need us. I hope you never experience the pain of heartbreak. Love is a difficult thing whether it is love for a boy or love for a friend or family member, love is hard, but worth it. I hope you will make a list of good qualities to find in a husband, and you stick to it. I hope you desire to be an amazing mother (even if you want a career.) I hope whatever you do, you endeavor do it with your whole heart and with your entire effort. I hope you will like tea parties, tutus, dress up, make up, and all the girly things. Then I hope you can sit down and watch an entire football game and know everything about the game. It will help one day, I promise. If you can play football, it’s even better! I hope you will like to get your hands dirty every now and then. I hope you want to sing or dance all the time, not caring who is around. I hope you never let the words of others bring you down.

There are so many things I want and hope for you sweet one. I can not wait to meet you! I am always wondering what you will look like, what your personality will be, what you will want for your life… I am just so excited to meet you!

I also hope you really like your name!

You are such a gift to us!